To commemorate International Day of Charity (5 September).
A filk song to the tune of ‘When I Was A Lad‘ by Gilbert & Sullivan
from HMS Pinafore (Public domain),
Author’s note: This song was filked by me (before I even knew what filking was) about fifty years ago, when I was around twelve years old. My parents were among the Victorian leaders of a charity – which no longer exists (in Australia at least) – called the Freedom From Hunger Campaign (or FFHC). I made up this song to sing to myself as I walked from door to door soliciting donations at the ripe old age of twelve for the Australian FFHC Annual Doorknock. It is of course not intended to interfere in any way with any current overseas charities (if any exist) that might share the same name.
The Chairman of FFHC
1.
I’d read in the local rag
The week before
That today someone would come knocking
On my front door.
I moaned inwardly
and thought I’d have to pay
To get the silly doorknocker
To go away.
(Chorus): Yes, to get the silly doorknocker to go away.
I thought so little of charity
But now I am the Chairman of FFHC.
(Chorus): He thought so little of charity,
But now he is the Chairman of FFHC.
2.
Came a knock at the door
T’was a little boy
As I pulled out my cheque book
His face filled with joy.
As I wrote him a cheque
He laughed with glee,
And he handed me a receipt
Very jubilantly.
Chorus: Yes, he handed him a receipt
Very jubilantly.
His reaction so astounded me
That now I am the Chairman of FFHC.
Chorus: His reaction so astounded he
That now he is the Chairman of FFHC.
3.
So impressed was I,
That instantly I went
To a meeting
Of the Campaign’s Parliament.
I met them
And they met me,
They were the nicest people
That you ever did see.
Chorus: They were the nicest people
That you ever did see.
I so impressed them, and they me,
That now I am the Chairman of FFHC.
Chorus: He so impressed them, and they he,
That now he is the Chairman of FFHC.
4.
I became door-knocker
Then I wanted more,
Leading teams raising money
Trying to help the poor.
I learnt about world poverty
The human face
Of injustice on our planet
Here in outer space.
Chorus: Yes, injustice on our planet
Here in outer space.
I did so well, they rewarded me,
And I ended up as Chairman of FFHC.
Chorus: He did so well, they rewarded he,
And he ended up as Chairman of FFHC.
5.
So if you want to try
To help your world,
And see the mysteries
of love and joy unfurled.
And if you want to try to
Do what you can
To help reduce the sufferings
Of your fellow man.
Chorus: Yes, to help reduce the sufferings
Of your fellow man.
Give at the Doorknock generously
And you may end up as Chairman of FFHC.
Chorus: Give at the Doorknock generously
And you may end up as Chairman of FFHC.
Author’s Note: Yes, the lyrics are juvenile, and yes the outdated technology (cheque books and Doorknocks) place this in a certain time period (early 1970s). And yes, the ‘little boy’ in the song (and the singer) is probably me. Such were attempts in this song to recapture the parody and satire that were rich within the original Gilbert and Sullivan production. Parly-a-ment anyone?
I include this song here because it shows – perhaps – how influences in our youth can have a lasting effect. Anyone who knows me in my sixties now would agree that humanitarian causes remain a strong passion for me. So does stepping up to meet a need (as encapsulated in this song) – and (in a parallel universe) filking and other fan activity within the world of science fiction which I was shortly to discover at age twelve. (Some years later, I dedicated an SF fanzine to FFHC as a gesture of moral support – see the photo at the top of this blog article).
I hope you can enjoy this song, or understand it at least – and maybe forgive my indulgence.
©2023 Geoff Allshorn